Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
