i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
