I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
