Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize