1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
