just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize