Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
