Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
