I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
