dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
