Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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