shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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