Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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