She's JV to your varsity
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
