She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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