Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
