so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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