He kissed a someone with a penis
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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