I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
