VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
