It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
