Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
