Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
