is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
