I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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