he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
