we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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