so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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