fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
