So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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