I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
