So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
