covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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