I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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