Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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