She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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