Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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