omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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