glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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