I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
