Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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