Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my being single is dangerous.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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