So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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