every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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