he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
