Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
