dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
