Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
