i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I need a beard to bite.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
