did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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