She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize