just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
