I'm going to jail i love you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
