That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
