OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
