We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
soo... how was my night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
