I want to stick my p in your. b.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
