Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
