South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
